stupid boyfriend... can you really be that selfesh?

So my day yesterday was just awful... I went with my boyfriend to his moms house to get a wood working book she bought him and 20 to work on this woodchest she gave him to redo.  The money was for the stain and seal.  I went home and was getting ready to go give plasma... he asked if I wanted his 20, and I said no your mom gave it to you, spend it on her woodchest, I will count change for gas to get me to plasma... so i did.. and I put 5 dollars in... I went to give plasma, he rode with so he could stop by lowes to get stuff to finish the cabinet... He knows it takes about an hour... Well since they couldnt take my plasma that day because my iron was too low, they said I had to wait 24 hours to come back.  I went outside and he was not there.. I called him and told him to come back because I was not able to donate today.  He got back and I asked if I could use 10 of that for gas and he wait till Thursday to get stuff for his mom.  He said he only had 5 dollars left cause he went across the road to go get a bottle of LTD.  I WENT MENTAL ON HIM... he didnt understand why I got so upset.  (or so he claimed)  I couldnt sleep at all lastnight.  My mind just kept going and going.  How in his right mind.. can he take the only cash we had and use it for alcohol?  REALLY?  who thinks like that?    I didnt speak the rest of the way home cause hes not suppose to even be driving anyways.  He kept making excuses, he apologized aobut counting his chickens before they were hatched... he needed a steady hand to work on the stain for the wood ... blah blah blah...  im just sick of it.. but I let him stay, because he has no where else to go.  Everyone around him is tired of it.  :(  and now hes stuck here. 

QUOTES I LOVE!!!!!

***Never play games with a girl who can play them better***

***The truth is you DONT KNOW what is going to happen tomorrow.  Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed*** eminem

***Someday everything will all make perfect sense.  So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason***

***Stop planning your life and let it plan itself.  Quit trying to find the perfect boy & let him find you.  If you dont want drama then dont talk shit.  Things are only as complicated as you make them***

***the past, its done, its unchangeable, MOVE ON***

***The universe rings true wherever you fairly test it.***

***Everyone must go through the storm to get to the rainbow***

***Promises mean everything, but after they are broken, sorry means nothing***

***Dont ask God to make your life easier.  Ask him to make you stronger***

***Love your enemies... They hate it***

***If you dont like something, change it... if you cant change it, change the way you think about it.***

***The best truth of love is trust***

***Isn't it funny how day-by-day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different***

***Sometimes you have to forget how you feel, and remember what you deserve***

***If you dont go after what you want, you will never have it.  If you dont ask, the answer is always no.  If you dont step forward, you're always in the same place.***

*** A tree has both straight and crooked branches, the symmetry of the tree however is perfect. Life is balanced like a tree. When you consider the struggles' difficulties, and sorrows as part of it, then you see it as beautiful and perfect.***

Getting to know me...

I hope this works...  I need a place to vent and to journal.  I am not trying to be a perfect typist.  It is what it is.  I love my daughter, quotes, trees, & being happy.  At this point in my life I am 32 years old.  I currently live at home with my mom and daughter.  I got divorced a few years ago.  I was scared to live alone so I moved in with my mom and stepdad.  I will be bouncing back and fourth all the time between subjects and dates... thats just how my mind works.  And when I type the  (...) thats usually a pause.  Maybe I'll type a current days blog then bring you to the past in another paragraph.  

So today... I am at my new job for a the second week.  I work with elderly people in their homes.  Helping them clean mostly and just visiting with them.  But I get a call from my daughters teacher telling me that she was assigned several worksheets 2 Fridays ago, and this last Friday they started grading them.  My daughter only had 1/4 of her project done.  The teacher told her to take it home last weekend and get it finished up she would grade it on Monday.  It was a big chunk of her final grade.  She is in the 7th grade, but the worksheet packet was easy stuff (adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing).  I assure the teacher that it will be done tonight even if she is up to midnight. 

Today is Wednesday and she goes to her dads house after school on the bus. This is alot of my issues and why I want to vent is the situtation.  but anways... So I call her step-mom ( my former best friend who lived with me and my husband 3 different times )  and tell her about the call.  She tells me that she dont know what to do.  I asked her about last week???  I told her on Wednesday of last week, my daughter had been lying about getting all her work finished and she needs conquenses. She promised she was gonna have some.  ((( We have split parenting plan, its a new thing only doing it since November of 2010 One week with me, one week with them, no child support and everything split 50/50)))  I asked about last week and why she was not grounded ( cause my daughter told me )  she told me real fast that she has 3 kids to deal with and she cant handle it all with the stess and then her job stress aswell.  Its too much so she just gave in to the grounding and ungrounded her.  She then told me she wouldnt be home till 5pm.  I said fine,  I will call her (my daughter) and make sure that she is doing all her work she is to be making up.. she said well.. our phone is disconnected again. ((( this happens at least once a month for a week or so )))  So i tell her no way my kid is gonna be home ( on a major highway without a phone in case of emergency )  all alone... So  I called and had her to get off at my house.    She comes home and starts working on her papers... I take her to her dads when her step mom gets home and explain to her what needs to be done.  She got dropped of at 8pm and actually finished all her work ((( WHICH NEVER HAPPENS OVER THERE )))  He called just a bit after 9pm and said she forgot her books over there and could I come and pick them up... I just laughed and said it was his responsibility. 

My boyfriend moved in with me October 2010.  He is 35.  I used to "hook up" with him when I was in 16 and 17.  He was my best friends older  HOT brother...  Hes been married and divorced 3 times.  He was jobless when he came swore up and down he was gonna get a job... Well he got a job CDL driver and had a seizure on the first day.  ((( NEVER HAD THEM BEFORE IN HIS LIFE ))) The drs said he legally couldnt drive anymore.  :(   I was ok with that.  I was then on unemployment and had enough to pay for what he needed.  And oh by the way... hes a severe alcoholic, since he has been 17.   Canadian LTD   a pint and half DAILY since he was 17 and almost 3 full pints on weekends when he didnt work... THATS WHY THE SEIZURES STARTED...   Will write back later... im excited about this now.  lol even thoug nobody else may be!!!  lol

Those are just 2 of my favorite quotes...